For individuals with ADHD, rejection sensitivity can significantly impact on their lives and relationships. If you relate to these emotions, remember that you're not alone. Let's delve into the meaning of rejection sensitivity within the ADHD community, how to identify symptoms, and practical steps for seeking support 💖
What is Rejection Sensitivity?
Rejection sensitivity, sometimes referred to as rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD), describes the intense emotional pain someone can feel after experiencing actual or perceived rejection or criticism. For individuals with ADHD, the effects of this sensitivity can be amplified 🔊
For example, a casual comment from a friend about you being disorganised as you're running late can lead you to feel criticised or devastated, question your friendship, and possibly avoid seeing your friend in the future 😣
Many people with ADHD experience significant emotional dysregulation, often linked to rejection sensitivity. This can lead to anxiety and avoidance, affecting relationships and self-esteem 😢
What does it look like?
Recognising the symptoms of rejection sensitivity is essential in managing it. Common signs include:
Intense emotional reactions: You may experience overwhelming sadness, anger, or anxiety after minor critiques. For example, a suggestion to improve at work could leave you feeling worthless rather than motivated 😭
Overthinking: After conversations, you might replay interactions repeatedly, fixating on specific phrases or tones. This tendency to overthink can occupy significant mental space, leading to exhaustion 🤔
Fear of criticism: This fear may cause you to avoid situations where you could be judged, such as social gatherings or job interviews 🏢
Self-perception issues: Negative comments can lead to a skewed self-image. You may internalise criticism, making it hard to see your strengths, which could affect your confidence and performance 🎭
How to cope?
Different coping mechanisms can help you navigate rejection sensitivity more effectively:
Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Engage in practices like meditation or deep-breathing exercises. For example, spending just five minutes in deep breathing can substantially reduce anxiety and help you regain control during emotional ups or downs.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): This approach can equip you with tools to reshape negative thoughts, manage anxiety, reduce overthinking, reduce worrying or rumination, increase self-esteem, manage depression symptoms and much much more (can you tell that Jennie, CBT Therapist, wrote this?! 🤣)
Open Communication: Share your feelings with trusted friends or family. An open conversation can ease your burden and allow others to support you in more meaningful ways. Sometimes this can be a focus of therapy, either to bring your loved ones into sessions, or rehearsing conversations, or formulating discussion points 💌
Seek Professional Support: Consider working with a Therapist, Counsellor or Coach who specialises in ADHD. They can use their experience of working with neurodivergent people to provide tailored strategies suited to your experiences with rejection sensitivity 🤓
Recommended Resources
Books:
- “ADHD 2.0” by Hallowell and Ratey
- “The ADHD Effect on Marriage” by Melissa Orlov
Podcasts:
- “The ADHD Women’s Wellbeing Podcast” offers conversations focused on the female ADHD experience.
- “ADHD ReWired” features practical advice and support for managing ADHD.
Websites:
- ADDitude mag - https://www.additudemag.com/how-to-deal-with-rejection-rsd-adhd/
Navigating your journey
If you find yourself relating to this post and are in need of more guidance, please feel free to reach out. You're not alone in this experience, and together, we can discover effective tools that empower you 💝
At Chiltern ADHD Clinic, we have our ADHD Skills and Support group, individual therapy or coaching, to help you to to manage rejection differently - just get in touch 📲
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